People (both Bhutanese and friends from the west) often ask me about what is challenging about living in Bhutan. Most Bhutanese people assume my answer will be that it is too remote here and too cold (yes my BCF friends, I don’t know about you but I wear long underwear under my kira everyday), there are no western things around me, and that I must be homesick. My friends from the west assume the answer will be about the foreign foods, difference of language, lack of hot water, taking bucket baths, and not being able to depend on the electricity or water supply. I do not mind the remote environment, I am in no way bothered by cold weather (thanks Antarctica!), and although I miss my friends and family, I am not homesick. Coming here was the right decision for me. The challenges that first come to mind are the kinds that my western friends say- the physical ones. But after being at my placement for over a month, those are negligible if nonexistent now. I am used to the day-to-day life here.
So when asked today about the challenges, I got to thinking about deeper ones. Ones that aren’t easily overcome by time, or are simply physical. And I have come to the conclusion that the biggest challenge for me here is my own independence.
I am a very independent person. It is a simple fact about me, and it’s been that way as long as I can remember. I think I was born with it, like I was born blond. And like the blond, its noticeable. My independence has served me well over the years. I have never been afraid to take the plunge of a new adventure that will take me far away from anything familiar. It is what got me to a college ½ the country away. It is what got me to the bottom of the world in the Antarctic. And for all intensive purposes, it is what got me to Bhutan.
But now that I am here, my independent self has hit a bit of a wall. For the first time, I am having to depend on other people for really simple things, and its difficult! Someone helps me get dressed in the morning, whether its helping me fold my kira (BCF crew- I am trying one of the kiras with ties these days…its warmer, but much harder to get on!) or just fixing the collar of my taego and wonchu. People translate everything that is said for me (even the stuff said in English, which is hilarious and adorable), speak for me at meetings, help me light my bukari and supply firewood, and feed me any meal that I happen to be around for. It is all unbelievably kind and I feel so welcome and part of the Bjishong school family. All of this care is why I am not homesick.
But my independent soul is dying a little. I want to do these things myself- well, actually, I want to be able to do these things myself. I want to know how! I am in awe of these life skills that everyone here has, and feel like I missed out on some important life lessons.
But I am not expected to do things on my own, and after awhile, I figured out something important; No one is. Other people don’t need help tying kiras and lighting bukaris, but everyone helps each other constantly (such as fixing each others hair, getting tea for one another, and making food), and because I am part of their community now, they do the same for me. Because they come from this environment of interdependence its natural for them, but I find myself trying to do things on my own, or more often, feeling guilty that I am not being independent enough. In the beginning I felt bad I was leaning on others as much as I was, thinking it was special treatment I was receiving because I was a new teacher, and a western one. And a part of it was. But now that I have been here a little while and have participated in helping others in my own way, I have realized that I have stumbled onto a significant piece of culture- interdependence. And as I am trying to learn Dzongkha and how to eat the most blistering of ema datsi, I am trying to learn this.
This lesson is my greatest challenge here to date. But as with most difficult lessons, I believe it will also be one of the most rewarding.
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